“Jesus Christ, people. These ideas are terrible. Perkins. What do you got?”

“Thank you, sir. Well, I had the art department mock something up for me. Here it is.”

“The hell is that?”

“Clumpy!”

“Clumpy?”

“Yes, sir. Clumpy the Scoop Away mascot. He’s purple and cute and has adventures.”

“Adventures?”

“Which you can follow on the website.”

“He’s a piece of poo?”

“No. No. Not a piece of poo. Noooo.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah. He’s a clump of piss.”

“Right.”

“Who has adventures.”

“In the litter box?”

“Right! He’s cute and personifies our product in a relatable way. Kids’ll love him.”

“Does he have friends?”

“Sure! I mean. Of course he has friends.”

“Who are other clumps of piss.”

“Maybe. I mean, I’m just riffing here, they could be piss, or, you know, other denizens of the litter box.”

“Like pieces of poo.”

“Maybe. I mean… If you’re open to that.”

“Yeah, fuck it. Whatever. Cohen, please open the window so I can run across this table and Hudsucker Proxy my ass down to the sidewalk. Good luck everybodyyyyyyyyyy—.”